The Outspoken Blvd

Check this puppy out some good delicious grub very fulfilling it's one of the few things I like at work besides the isolation with people it's ok I feel like a goaltender who is quiet or a defense a penalty killer or a baseball pitcher it feels homie  Like at the last minutes of my break there's this cute cat girl that sat by me but she was on her phone and we dont have a big break area ha I was sitting in not my usual spot unfortunately oh well I'm just chill

Some girl at my workplace was talking about her trouble kids she was in tears about one of them. Her crying made me think of the control room chick it's weird as you can think I mean holy moly I mean I just melted inside and played it cool on the outside probably said stuff I shouldn't have said whatever that's me  Just like I wear a flyers jersey on Halloween would be a scout's Jersey with the hat haven't got that yet, Inside baseball on that I want the arizona coyotes to move to KC and become the scouts, never happen but one can dream. Flyers would still be my team though

What is wrong with Phoenix in general? Who taught everyone to be sheltered and well assholes I'm being frank here When someone says hello it doesn't mean, "they want something", "they're hitting on you", "they're trying to talk to you" etc. I mean this is what I imagine they're thinking just based off of what I think. Usually these aren't busy and don't have a place to be. Funny story I use to live in a place where you'd see someone rushing to work and they still say hello then said I'm late for work (didn't even know this person) but I said hello back. How hard is it to do that, shucks even my brief stint in Texas people had the common courtesy. At work, I don't mind I personally don't conversate myself but I work in a warehouse and I get into the zone but if someone says hello to me you bet i'm gonna give the courtesy back of saying hello and I do. And no I don't think its because of the techn...

Interesting that I find myself in a situation where people do not bother me at work I dont bother them its zing and zang great. Would I like to talk and get to know people sure but that causes way more trouble Besides when you have dudes in your own department telling you the girl you like don't like you tends to be an issue although I just ignore it (use to talk to this person on a regular basis). Doesn't matter to me Which leads me to believe and this is how I act is you do your job take advantage of OT if offered then go home, no worry, no questioning  or no exertion of climbing up the company ladder. That I can live with will I be here a long time, I dont know I'd like to think I'd find something better

So I need to start reading some books I bought as well as some things I actually printed out, but I want to delve deeper, someone is actually reading these but who? Are they luminescent in the dark? Are they part of a clandestine group? Is someone spying? .....just kidding Whoever it is hope you enjoy reading them and if your just skipping through thats ok too.

This weekend I had some German Beers two preface it was two bottles a night for 3 days. Tried out the new mugs I got. If you want good quality beer go for the German beer, some say Belgium but to me Belgium beer is reserved for people who just want to get wasted. Anyways I did break what I said before about drinking no beer but I figure why not slowly ween off of it plus its October I figure celebrate Oktoberfest like an American lol. Plus why not end with a quality beer as well. From here on out no beer unless its social and if its social 1 to 2 beers max.

You know I tend to think this more and more I'm in my 30s and still dont have a woman I'm even dating. I always ponder the workplace and there's this girl but I know she doesn't like me guys quickly to point that out but I'm beginning to realize I'm not going to keep the last name going not at this rate and I will have no legacy 

Ever think to yourself waking up each morning to go to work "whats the point?" what does this accomplish? Why make money? Why does it matter? I think that I'm not going to lie especially when you're a recluse yet you do this everyday. I look at positives like for instance my main job is simple I do one task and thats it, no one bothers me unless I make a mistake. Its better than security especially contract security, yet I want to go back into that field working for a university or something thats not contracted. Why? Maybe its personal maybe I want to prove people wrong who knows if it will happen though. I'm not shy to say this, security is a thankless job and you get handed a lot of unwanted tasks.

I feel if you have a smooth transition on what your goals are you're more likely to succeed if you don't do that you'll be irradiated (irritated) and grumpy that is why in the month of October, i'll be drinking strictly German beers if I drink why not I have nothing going on in my life that would warrant anything else plus, german beer is great (two bottles just enough). Plus, I bought a German stein gotta test drive it man LOL.

So career wise I'm going in circles, the upward mobility in these companies I work for are slim to none. Yet somehow I think its going to get better even though I'm paranoid with my current situation. I keep thinking I'm just as good as those good ole boys who keep getting internships and who are paving there way for a fun and exciting career or who knows it just might be a side effect of being 31 LOL.

First off, let me preface by saying this of course I'd love stars on my team anyone would but, if I were in control I would choose people who would be considered undesirable. Ones who hop from team to team or job to job with one catch a record of picking themselves backup and marching again. In other-words they never give up they may need to cool off and take a vacation but they get back into the hunt and live to fight another day. In my opinion you can build off that and make it great. Vague I know thats how it should be. (I know doesn't make sense)

Steins 1 liter with a big handle used to drink I'm talking about the glass ones. Then you have the decorative ones which are sold to tourists who don't know any better and Germans for very special occasions. Google "Oktoberfest is in September" and you get this: "Held annually in Munich, Bavaria, Germany, it is a 16- to 18-day folk festival running from mid or late  September  to the first Sunday in October, with more than six million people from around the world attending the event every year." Interesting right? People in the US don't realize this we are ignorant somewhat of culture and adopt as if it were our own then put our own stupid spin like St. Patrick's Day and "Danny Boy" that's not a celebration song whatsoever why is it sung in many bars on that day its dumb here's the song pay attention to the song its very depressing  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ppdB6JX99Q Anyways, I realized I've never enjoyed Oktoberf...

I don't think so, then again it could be. I think if you are dating or in a relationship you're damn eyes should be on your girl, if your single I still don't see the problem with it, women do it too they just can hide it better than men. Now gawking well its a bit weird but can't say i haven't done it because I have and sometimes you can't help it that's the nature of men. The part of lust I'm talking about is porn and is it ok to watch it for instance. Well to each his own I don't judge that way but I'm beginning to realize that its not really productive and its a bit damaging. Its not productive because the time spent on it a lot like getting drunk, that time can be allocated to better activities something that you can build upon. I feel you're more prone to go into vices and not attempting to get a relationship that everyone deserves. In a sense you are in you're own "perverted" fantasies. Everyone has a fetish, a quirk is...

This is not because you would learn bad things about them. To me people have there faults I certainly do. And by people I mean a human not a corporation screw the corporation they are not people I hate that law that passed that said they were a person therefore they can donate to a political campaign (especially hate companies who subcontract) but that's not part of this discussion. If you learn about the people who you admire and the people you tout as hero's you may get obsessed with them. I mean by a thought, a popular quote for instance "what would Jesus do". Emulating Jesus to me lacks creativity and an ability to think for yourself. You become a person that your not. When you meet this person you are excited, hyped, want to know everything about them when in reality they are just like you. Think about this how would you react to that if someone did that to you and you were the 1,434th person, wouldn't you get annoyed? Instead, try to take this approach, do...

So recently I decided to get off of booze. Before this I was drinking on a regular basis, sometimes weekends sometimes on the weekday. Now I'm feeling congestion, sleeplessness, etc. Its amazing what alcohol can do to the body. The reason why I'm choosing to stop it (except for the occasional night out which i rarely happens since I don't have any friends to do that with anyways) is because I feel it makes a negative impact on me and it alters me. I want to feel again (in the mind) and that's whats happening right now I'm thinking more clearly. Feeling mean something to me again whether its a horrible or a good feeling I know that doesn't make sense but that's how I feel right now. I want to keep it this way just like how I do it when I visit Vegas or my trip from a couple of months ago in the KC Metro area I had 0 alcohol and had fun. Maybe I should focus on getting a friend or two maybe I shouldn't, the way I read myself is I'm better off alone (ju...

You know i've been watching some videos even crazy ones like some person who had a theory that there were "glow in the dark cia agents" funny stuff but enlightening because we all have that inner selves that most of us don't project and gambling documentaries. Casinos are in business to make money the most grey area and semi shadiest way possible in my opinion. They prey on the most vulnerable and only care about "time on device" aka slot machines. Ever wonder why the chairs are so comfy that's the reason. I still gamble and I still have a itching to work in a casino and I don't know why. Airplane crashes interest me I've watched numerous documentaries on the subject, I love it, in fact I have always thought back and wondered if i should've gotten a degree in the field of forensics or criminal justice so I can become a part of the NTSB not only to investigate the crash but to see the aftermath (recovery sites, bodies how they pull apart, ...

Lets call this a previous series of events without going into too much detail, long story short the end game of those events didn't end well and I possibly could have course corrected it way early on had I known where this person was from originally. See I had an inclination a familiarization just by the way this person carried themselves. It was very reminiscent to the Midwest I'm talking the center states. Either I was blind or had messed it up from the start. The feeling that I have now is that I could have corrected it by just talking and bringing up where I grew up. Overtime I feel I could have made a friend or an acquaintance. I also feel this would of opened me up to the rest of the staff because I believe that they might have had similar backgrounds. Long story short I could've been there right now as a part of the regular staff instead I'm continuing to just do the grind and trying to find a situation similar to that again. This opportunity I had could have pro...