me

You know at first going to the xmas party I was pissed I thought the party sucked having no one talk to me not joining in the festivities of drinking even a person in my department who I sit by during lunch didn't really mingle with me

Now the party sucked just being real to me I'd rather see a bigger bonus or higher gift card balance (company gave us gift cards) or better benefits but it made me realize something 

See when I didn't drink this was during college and the first part of living where I live today I tended to be more laid back and quiet and I kept to myself yes..

 I'd make friends here and there none really stuck most were like acquaintances

Anyways my point I for the first time in a while realized that I was being myself. Sat by myself wore a jersey while other people came in street clothes some dressed up, had water and ate food, only talked to people who initiated contact first with a very brief conversation. I wasnt trying to impress people or be different its like I took a turn back time and became me again it's weird I know. And yeah like I said I was pissed but that might of been cause it's not my setting.

It's funny because I use to have an itch for gambling, now I dont even want to touch it same with alcohol I left those free drink tickets on the table.

Also for some reason and its weird I know, now I want to people watch maybe its because I'm growing old? I dont know

See I like to analyze and yes I analyze too much but sometimes it's a good thing because you rediscover what you lost always a good feeling